31/12/2014
It's been 46 days since I stopped what we had. I'm in The Hague because were celebrating New Years Eve with the family and guess who lives here too, D. We occasionally talk but not like we used to do every day, 24/7. Around 1:00 pm I get a text from him. "Hey, you wanna come over, everybody's here?". I couldn't wait to get away from my family because I'm not the biggest fan of family gatherings. He picks me up with his friend around 2:00 pm and off we go. I had a blast and I won't go into too much detail, but I can say one thing, it was hella awkward between us. So the party went on and around 4:00 pm I went home because everyone was tired. I felt tiny little baby butterflies in my stomach when I got home. Why? I don't know. All I know is that I went to bed with a smile on my face.
01/01/2015
When I woke up, I still had a smile on my face. Hell, I smiled the whole day.
Around 9:00 pm I got another text from him. "You wanna hang out later? Everybody's busy and I'm bored. " Ofcourse I said yes, another opportunity to get away from my family, how could I say no? He picked me up with his scooter and we had no idea what we were gonna do. It wasn't a date but I was still nervous as fuck. We went to McDonalds and watched a movie afterwards. During the movie we were having so much fun and I felt those tiny little baby butterflies again. The movie came to an end and so did our night together.
We were on our way to my aunt's house when all of a sudden his scooter died, so we had to walk home. We talked and we talked 'till he dropped me off at the door. And again that night, I went to bed with a smile.
And and that moment I knew, I fucked up.
To be continued
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